NCC needs your help.

[Tits]

TheSiberianBull (8:34:58 PM): rikki you make the call
TheSiberianBull (8:34:58 PM): weird.. i started talking to this girl 13 minutes ago for the first time
TheSiberianBull: she's telling me she loves me and wants to drive 2 hours now to come meet me
TheSiberianBull: i can't decide if i should give the address or not
RCameron614 (8:36:25 PM): she loves you and she's never met you?
TheSiberianBull (8:36:44 PM): basically
TheSiberianBull (8:36:49 PM): and i've talked ot her less then 13 minutes
TheSiberianBull (8:37:03 PM): via aim
RCameron614 (8:37:12 PM): and what part of this is not a flashing neon sign that she's a lunatic?
TheSiberianBull (8:37:14 PM): met through facebook.
TheSiberianBull (8:37:30 PM): oh theres no doubt shes a lunatic
TheSiberianBull (8:37:44 PM): but maybe i could sleep with her... but if i do will she start driving here unexpected and such


http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v200/179/59/662095332/n662095332_2426316_8168.jpg

This is not a fake picture. This is the actual girl he is contemplating sleeping with.

RCameron614 (8:40:51 PM): whoa!
RCameron614 (8:40:59 PM): holy crap!
RCameron614 (8:41:03 PM): that's awesome
TheSiberianBull (8:42:00 PM): haha
TheSiberianBull (8:42:06 PM): i just looked at this picture first
TheSiberianBull (8:42:11 PM): (in brown ) and was like
TheSiberianBull (8:42:19 PM): 'eh, not good, but if shes doing all the work'
TheSiberianBull (8:42:31 PM): then i scanned through other albums and kinda had a mind change ha
RCameron614 (8:42:32 PM): haha, dude, she doesn't even look good there
TheSiberianBull (8:42:37 PM): i know she doesn't
TheSiberianBull (8:42:44 PM): but you don't have to look good to drive 2 hours and sleep with me

(said first picture)
http://photos.l3.facebook.com/photos-l3-sf2p/v290/179/59/662095332/n662095332_3509547_1366.jpg

[Meathead Jock]

Thanks rikki...

Anyways I McGuirked (wussed out) and told her i can't tonight that i have work to get finished.

[rhiza]

her torso looks thinner in the second (first) picture, but you can tell she's fat from those leg arms

[... & on]

eww

[JayCal]

eww

[Weirdoradio]

Fuck.
The shit I miss out on.
I'm glad to see Greg's hangin' tuff.

[Tits]

Fuck.
The shit I miss out on.
I'm glad to see Greg's hangin' tuff.

I knew you'd be proud. (g)

[Haliai]

On the plus side, it looks like she might have 2 extra boobs on her back. You could definitely do worse for a girl who is willing to drive 2 hours just to sleep with you. And you might be able to use her to get to her mildly hotter friends.

[kilgore]

What do you have to lose?

[Schmee]

Wow, shes pretty disgusting. And damn that armpit fold shit is wacky.

[Mave]

at least try to fuck the friend in polka dot or somethign dude

this is pretty gross

[Haliai]

The brunette looks way hotter.

[gnutella]

The brunette looks way hotter.
but that's just in comparison. if you put her next to a few other normal to cute girls, she wouldn't stack up.

it's like that 'unfuckables' picture. the girl in the background with the camera looks like a goddess just because she's not one of the other three

[Meathead Jock]

On the plus side, it looks like she might have 2 extra boobs on her back. You could definitely do worse for a girl who is willing to drive 2 hours just to sleep with you. And you might be able to use her to get to her mildly hotter friends.

Exactly my thought process until 5 people gave me 'no votes'. Next time this comes up i'm asking Haliai.

[Meathead Jock]

Update: I've told her that I have a girlfriend (I don't) to see if she's cool with taking a 'girl on the side' position. That way I have an excuse to never be seen in public with and such.

[adzee]

I'd rather fuck a pile of dog shit.

[Badwong]

fat girls need lovin too.

think of it as charity, or something.

queue up braveheart and get mad snuggly on the couch.

[Tits]

Don't forget that she was saying she loved you after 13 minutes of phone conversation. Not only is she a wildabeast, but most likely a psycho who will camp out in front of your house and tell everyone you're dating, most likely resulting in the scaring away of any potential hotter chicks in the near future.

[Cardinal]

i dont see how fucking this girl can be an upgrade from beating off.

[Haliai]

Exactly my thought process until 5 people gave me 'no votes'. Next time this comes up i'm asking Haliai. Yeah, but you have to consider the psycho factor. I have a feeling that once that girl gets her teeth in someone (something?) she doesn't let go.

[flipp jackson]

like an alligator

[allison wonderland]

im worried

[oh.]

fuck everybody else. do it if for no other reason than to tell us about it.

[Schmee]

fuck everybody else. do it if for no other reason than to tell us about it.

good point, forget my last post.

[milhouse]

fuck everybody else. do it if for no other reason than to tell us about it.


no shit.....fuck her and tell the board about it. take Vega style pics with her too!

[... & on]

http://i37.tinypic.com/250ic7n.jpg

[Badwong]

mmm...the psycho factor

that's like 3rd behind face and ass.

[allison wonderland]

... lol

[Meathead Jock]

She's on her way prp.

[Tits]

Pictures for sure. And not of the sores she's going to have. Ew.

[JayCal]

self-respect: priceless

[Meathead Jock]

RCameron614: really?
TheSiberianBul: really..
TheSiberianBul: i went for the whole 'i need to be honest with you, i have a gf'route
TheSiberianBul: (i don't)
TheSiberianBul: and yea she seemed all offended and stuff
RCameron614: haha
TheSiberianBul: then i went into i love her but she doesn't give oral sex blah blah blah
TheSiberianBul: and that i'd leave it in her corner if she wanted to come out and do that knowing we can't be together, but id' understand if she didn't want to'
TheSiberianBul: well she said sure
TheSiberianBul: said she is going to hop in the shower now
TheSiberianBul: then drive out here

[BRMF!]

a new custom was needed to mark this occasion

[Tits]

TheSiberianBull (11:15:59 PM): i plan on her pants to stay on
RCameron614 (11:16:19 PM): good luck
RCameron614 (11:16:29 PM): may your dick still be in tact when the night ends
TheSiberianBull (11:16:41 PM): i'm already kicking myself you see what happened was
TheSiberianBull (11:16:47 PM): i started watching porn
TheSiberianBull (11:16:53 PM): and she started talking ot me again
TheSiberianBull (11:17:03 PM): we agree'd on the terms
TheSiberianBull (11:17:15 PM): then i finished up the video and myself ha
TheSiberianBull (11:17:17 PM): and was like wtf why?
TheSiberianBull (11:17:26 PM): that needs to be my new rule
RCameron614 (11:17:36 PM): no talking to fat chicks while watching porn
TheSiberianBull (11:17:39 PM): jerk off and right afterwards see if i still think sleeping with her is a good idea
TheSiberianBull (11:17:47 PM): thats the true test

[allison wonderland]

dude be careful

[flipp jackson]

theprp chronicles

[woodbro wilson]

TheSiberianBull (11:17:39 PM): jerk off and right afterwards see if i still think sleeping with her is a good idea
TheSiberianBull (11:17:47 PM): thats the true test

sig worthy and totally true

[kilgore]

Looks like he got cock blocked from her mom

[Meathead Jock]

Wrong, she called back. She is on the road as of right now but she threw this line in....

"Oh and you're going to have to deal with my glasses i forgot my contacts"

[BRMF!]

loads on the glasses should be hilarious.

[qlogic]

this is going to be good.

pics is a must with you in one of them at least. also, dude, for 2 hours driving to see you, you could at least throw the hotdog down the well.

[... & on]

Wrong, she called back. She is on the road as of right now but she threw this line in....

"Oh and you're going to have to deal with my 40.3 BMI"

[Weirdoradio]

Greg.
This is monumental.
I'm so proud of you.
You've got your own fish now.

[iamlark]

enjoy the crushed pelvis.

[Meathead Jock]

enjoy the crushed pelvis.

Come on now, she's 155 at most i'd say.

[Weirdoradio]

Come on now, she's 155 at most i'd say.

Perhaps on the moon.
She's at least 170.

[Tits]

Come on now, she's 155 at most i'd say.


Is she 5'2"?

[chuckbronson]

i would much rather look at porn and jack off. shits disgusting

[Meathead Jock]

I'm 170, this girl isn't as big as me, but i'll have a better idea soon.

She is 5'4 though.

[defhalotones]

i don't like this at all

[Haliai]

Wrong, she called back. She is on the road as of right now but she threw this line in....

"Oh and you're going to have to deal with my glasses i forgot my contacts" More like she had to put on her glasses after crying so hard when her mom tried to stop her from going out.

[gnutella]

so this is going down right about now, huh

[Mave]

i refuse to believe NCC is THIS self-destructive constantly

[Meathead Jock]

Just got a text 20 miles away.

[Meathead Jock]

i refuse to believe NCC is THIS self-destructive constantly

Don't be over dramatic, it's allowing a not very attractive girl to come over and give a bj, one who thinks i have a gf so knows i can't date her.

[gnutella]

you know what, at least she's not in a wheelchair

[Fatterrific]

haha, I am looking forward to hearing how this goes.

[BRMF!]

why is this self-destructive? he just wants to blow a load. simple enough.

[woodbro wilson]

rocky: your last bf looked like vanilla ice
Samantha: how the hell do know that?
Samantha: lol
rocky: myspace
Samantha: he didn't look like vanilla ice
Samantha: which guy are you talking about? I haven't had a bf in a long time
rocky: i dont know i just remember seein pix of him with you on myspace and he looks just like vanilla ice
rocky: which was hilarious
rocky: haven't seen that fucking guy since like 92
Samantha: the only guy i was in pictures with was steven and he didn't look a think like vanilla ice he was gorgeous all of my friends were jealous
rocky: lol
rocky: http://a383.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/31/l_8b3b718fcb331a2aa54b271a8583defe.jpg
Samantha: ?
rocky: http://www.icepromo.com/media/platinum.jpg
Samantha: He doesn't look like vanilla ice lol

[Haliai]

There really need to be pictures. And I'm pretty certain this girl wouldn't take offense.

[Tits]

I bet matton would think she was hot.

[Meathead Jock]

Alright board, i'll most likely report tomorrow after work. If i'm not on here by 10 tomorrow night i'm dead.

[Did I Stutter?]

Welcome to the club FCT #3.

[kitty]

Come on now, she's 155 at most i'd say.

hahaha this is very incorrect.

[WhoWantsPie]

It's probably too late for this, but letting her know where you live may not have been the best idea. Tomorrow, you're going to be bummed I didn't get to this earlier.

[johnnyutah]

Yeh i don't even like somewhat sane girls coming to mine.

Rocking up uninvited & ruining my sunday chill sessions is fucking awful

How'd you meet this broad anyway?

[freshinthehouse]

why is this self-destructive? he just wants to blow a load. simple enough.

What he said. Don't let these spoilsports ruin your good time.

[Meathead Jock]

TERRIBLE. JUST TERRIBLE.

Looked even worse in person and she had the worst breath i've ever encountered to match.

I couldn't finish; full details to come later.

[Mave]

Hahahahaha already awesome as fuck.

[Neva]

she drove 2 hours to suck your strange dick

what did you expect

[Meathead Jock]

she drove 2 hours to suck your strange dick

what did you expect

To at least be able to finish.

[kitty]

did you get pictures with her?

[Neva]

i'd say just chaulk this up under the did not cum column and call it a day bra

[Meathead Jock]

did you get pictures with her?

I did, i'll upload it after work. I did send one prper a photo through my cam phone during a bathroom break though.

[Whored]

Haha, epic.

[Haliai]

call it a day bra Way less sexy than the night bra.

[Neva]

oh, you

[kilgore]

I did, i'll upload it after work. I did send one prper a photo through my cam phone during a bathroom break though.

Wow greg I'm sorry I talked you into it

[Cardinal]

the fact that he did this then went into a school to teach gym class is slightly unsettling for some reason

[oh.]

and most of you tried to convince him not to do it. shame on you.

[Head]

so the rest of you guys have never hooked up for casual sex over the net? it's never been great, but i've never really regretted it...

[Whored]

Unless you mean by talking to someone you know over the internet about it, yes. But some random twat, no.

[Neva]

random fat chicks get the gasface, not the dick

WHEN KEEPING IT REAL GOES CORRECTLY

[Whored]

WHEN KEEPING IT REAL GOES CORRECTLY


I lol'd

[Did I Stutter?]

So how hard was it to get her to leave? Furthermore, how awkward was the whole experience?

[Weirdoradio]

Best part:
NCC's probably teaching 8th graders how to play dodgeball at this very second.

[... & on]

i rather get hit with a hammer again than have some over weight aids breath bitch suck on my limp dick

[Meathead Jock]

To answer some of the questions:

Q: How awkward was it?
A: Not at all besides her looks and breath.

Q: How hard was it to get her to leave?
A: She ended up getting here at 12:45a.m. after making the two hour drive. Watched one episode "Always Sunny... " then went to the bed room around 1:20a.m where I failed to be able to perform (more later). I ended up giving up on it at 2:30a.m. I got up and washed her horrible breath off my skin; then made up a lie about needing to enter grades online and that she should just go to bed... in attempts to sleep in an opposite room. Well she comes out to the living room and watches me pretend to do grade work for a good hour. By that time it was 3:30 and realized she wasn't going to just go to bed so I said 'well i'm going to bed..." I walked into my room she followed, i grabbed a sheet and threw it on the living room floor (oddly enough i usually sleep on the floor unless a good looking girl is staying over.... so i usually sleep on the floor). Told her I needed to be out there for the computer alarm clock since i was too tired to trust the others and to watch t.v. while resting. So i slept on the floor and she slept on the chair... watching me sleep. Weird... but alright with me, didn't really want her on my bed anyways. When my alarms went off at 6 a.m. i snoozed it until 6:30 which is when she left because she had to be at work at 9 a.m.

So in short, not hard to get her to leave in the morning, but hard to get her to leave my side at the night. Also while I was doing grades before she came out and watched me do them she sent me a text message (from my bedroom to me in the living room) apologizing saying she can tell she let me down.

Q:To those questioning the weight:
A:I was wrong, you were right... 180lbs is a lot closer then 155.

Q:To those questioning todays unit and guessing it was dodgeball:
A: Incorrect, sideline soccer and dribbling drills.

[Tom]

she sent me a text message (from my bedroom to me in the living room) apologizing saying she can tell she let me down
WOW

[woodbro wilson]

thread delivers

[Neva]

hard

[encore]

so yea, where are the pics?

[allison wonderland]

why didnt she brush her teeth before she came over?

[Haliai]

You made the mistake of failing to inform her that she was not welcome to sleep over. Also, if you weren't going to extend her any courtesies, why did you let her keep her stank breath? You should have told her to brush her teeth.

[Schmee]

To answer some of the questions:

Q:To those questioning the weight:
A:I was wrong, you were right... 180lbs is a lot closer then 155.



woahahaha (g)

[Meathead Jock]

You made the mistake of failing to inform her that she was not welcome to sleep over. Also, if you weren't going to extend her any courtesies, why did you let her keep her stank breath? You should have told her to brush her teeth.

With what my toothbrush? It was already very late and she lived far away, I had no idea she'd have such foul breath.



In regards to todays plan; she'll undoubtedly msg/text me. At this time I will put on a performance about the only reason I couldn't finish is because I felt too much guilt for cheating on my gf, and thus I can't continue to talk to her.

[Meathead Jock]

so yea, where are the pics?

http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/557/greatidea2pb1.th.jpg (http://img408.imageshack.us/my.php?image=greatidea2pb1.jpg)http://img408.imageshack.us/images/thpix.gif (http://g.imageshack.us/thpix.php)

[Haliai]

With what my toothbrush? It was already very late and she lived far away, I had no idea she'd have such foul breath She didn't bring one?!? Ew. I keep an extra toothbrush or two around for just these sorts of emergencies.

[Neva]

you drive far to suck strange penis at all hours of the morning?

i wish i knew before!

[woodbro wilson]

At this time I will put on a performance about the only reason I couldn't finish is because I felt too much guilt for cheating on my gf, and thus I can't continue to talk to her.


haha fuck man i have used that exact excuse on at least 3 different occasions. its the best because it makes you look like a good guy with morals and they feel even shittier for being whores

[Haliai]

you drive far to suck strange penis at all hours of the morning?

i wish i knew before!Har har. I keep extra cheap toothbrushes in my apartment for unexpected guests and people who forget theirs. Or in case of some horrible toothbrush to toilet accident when I'm late for work.

[Neva]

so anal is out of the question?

[Haliai]

Yes, I would also need a new toothbrush if you put my toothbrush in your bum.

[Neva]

no worries, my poop is oil based

[Schismal]

With what my toothbrush? It was already very late and she lived far away, I had no idea she'd have such foul breath.
Can't imagine that letting her use the toothbrush would be worse than having slothosaur suck down your tongue like a frozen milkshake.

[Meathead Jock]

Also to anyone who enjoyed the story, you should thank Kilgore. I was in the midst of backing out until he sent me an IM saying 'you're my hero!' If not for that msg, none of this would have happened.

[Meathead Jock]

Can't imagine that letting her use the toothbrush would be worse than having slothosaur suck down your tongue like a frozen milkshake.

There was no heavy kissing.

[Schismal]

There was no heavy kissing.
Mouthwash was impossible?

[Meathead Jock]

Mouthwash was impossible?

I guess it would have been, just didn't know how to bring it up.

[allison wonderland]

tell her you want to rainbow kiss but with mouthwash instead of semen and period blood or whatever

[iamlark]

http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/557/greatidea2pb1.th.jpg (http://img408.imageshack.us/my.php?image=greatidea2pb1.jpg)http://img408.imageshack.us/images/thpix.gif (http://g.imageshack.us/thpix.php)

"greatidea2pb1.jpg" HAHAHAHAHAHA

[Did I Stutter?]

So wait...why haven't I seen pics yet?

Based on your answers about awkwardness/etc...it sounds like a fairly brutal night.

[tabarnak]

oh come on, i just saw this thread, read 6 pages and now the pic is gone. please post it again :(

[qlogic]

its better if you don't see it. trust me.

[tabarnak]

well, i really digged the large hardon colliders one...

[Jean and Juice]

Har har. I keep extra cheap toothbrushes in my apartment for unexpected guests and people who forget theirs. Or in case of some horrible toothbrush to toilet accident when I'm late for work.

I do the same thing.

[internecine coitus]

brushing your teeth is bad for you

[Meathead Jock]

I'm not sure why the picture isn't showing for some of you but here is a link:

http://img408.imageshack.us/my.php?image=greatidea2pb1.jpg